BILL ASTRO NAIK LAGI.

Punyalah benci aku hari ini, Astro send me a letter saying that they are going to raise up thier bill :

Harga pekej sekarang : 79.95
Harga pakej baru : 93.95

whats next... RM 150.00 ke. bosan betul. Barang semua naik, gaji kita cam tu tu jugak. Patut kerajaan ini bersetuju untuk naikkan gaji kita sampai 30% and above, to compensate our month bills yang melanbung naik ini.

Lainlah kalau illa, sanggup tengok TV 1, 2 and NTV 7 in order not to pay anything. Gosh tahan juak ya nangga TV kerajaan kan. Balik balik cerita tamil, drama swasta and Bintang RTM, according to her, yang paling bestlah dia tengok is CSI. Itu pun series yang lama kan. Tapi with illa ni pun dia tak tengok sangat pun cerita-cerita bahasa inggeris ni, she is more to those engge purengge movies where all people are drama queen, so sesuailah dengan dia yang Drama queen too.

Oh btw, my sister called from london just now, she is going to have her PTK course in either Kl or Miri. At first ingat nak suruh dia buat di miri je, but then again maybe kalau tidak ada aral melintang i'm going to continue my studies in KL for 6 month so cancell lah suruh dia buat di KL je. Harap-harap management lepas me for 6 month in kl for my masters.

Oklah, i have to go and hope u like the new song i posted maroon 5 tu.

KILO GRAMS....

God, did you saw American Idol last night. Who would have guess that Melinda Doolittle would be booted our of the competition. She was so consistent among all the contestant.

I have always put my money on her since the first time i watch the first episode, but i guess then again LOOKS IS MORE THAT JUST PURE TALENT. How i hate when people discriminise other for thier looks. I read from other blogges in the US that they disciminate Melinda because she doesnt have the Idol looks. Well, so canteklah tu Fantasia Berrino. Tolonglah...

Tapi apa apa pun, its thier Idol, so what the heck. Its the Amecian people's lost. Gosh why am I so emotional for nothing kan. Sudahlah.

What i am trying to express this morning is that sometimes looks doesn't last. I remember when i first came to UPM to continue my studies GOSH everybody is thin. That is including me lah.. but now after all of us are working and leading our own life, all of us grew horizontally. The weight keeps going up and never really goes down.

I remember the last reunion i had with my friends in KL was last year. These are the people that i use to hang out after all of us graduated. It was like everyhody just blotted up like a balloon. So you see, its not how u looks like that counts but its who you are from the inside. No matter how beautiful or handsome you are by the end of the day its the motherboard aka your brain that counts.

PATUTKE.. OR PERLU KE..

Pepagi lagi tadi, illa dah call me up, sebab last Sunday one of my kawan Wahi yang kerja di UPM ni ajak p makan somewhere dekat City Point. Ada satu menu which they all masak kulit ayam with sambal and sesampainye wah sesampainye ni lariiiiiii.... aku ke rumah i told illa all about it.

She was all excited, macam budak yang baru berjumpa dengan her favourite toy and lepas tu everyday dia beg me to bring her to that place. So pagi ini kami pergilah berdua, but to her dismay the menu yang i mentioned to her tu tidak ada, dengan hati yang patah she told me that we want to eat lite lite je. and i order the roti special with topping daging ( sikit pulak tu)with air limau. Then the big mama pun startlah mau order..illa ni memang kalau masa nak pilih lauk or menu lambat sangat sebab aku rasalah dia tak tau nak pilih apa, takut nanti salah pilih rugi pulak he he he.

So dia pun pilihlah breafast dia which is NASI LEMAK SPECIAL .. and air limau ( to kompliment the lelemaklah kunun). Gosh.. itulah tu yang dinamakan lite-lite. Atas alasan tak mau makan banyak oh ye one more thing , she mentioned to the waitress " Dik kalau daging rendang tu jangan letak banyak minyak". Lerrrrrrrrr ingatkan dia nak cakap tak payah rendang.

After that masa untuk kami membedal and illa didnt finish her air limau sebab she said takut lapar balik. soooooooo PATUT KA OR PERLU KE... entahlah you tell me.

HOW DO WE MEASURE A MAN

This morning when i woke up, a question POP tru my mind:

"HOW DO WE MEASURE A MAN"

Gosh.. I guess alot of us likes to think that " A man is made by the amount of money, properties or children that you got". For me what defines a man are:

1. How much lives have you touched.
2. How many changes have you made tru ur adolesent life.
3. How many hands have u pulled up to be on the same boat as you.
4. How much gratitude people have towards you.
5. How much Good deeds have you done throughout our lives.

but most of all........and foremost ...

HAVE YOU BEEN THE TEMPLE OF GOD.

I dont know .. how about u. then.

HOW MUCH DO WE SPEND

Nah untuk siapa siapa yang banyak spend your money unwisely tengok ni , ikut.... jangan buang duit je memanjang.

OLD FRAMES...

I dont know if you are aware how old pictures are taken so profesionally . The angle and how those people look PReCIOUS.

Btw guys the front row from the left is my Dad, middle is my mum and the baby is my oldest sister. Yang lain tu, aku tak kenal. hehheeh.

CHRISTMAS TO ME.........

I know this is too early to post , but i just want to share my childhood expeciences especially comes Christmas.

As a child growing up in an Oil Palm Estate with my siblings and my Mum things are a lot simpler then. We have practically nothing accept for the common utilities such as a TV which at that time was only TV1, radio and a fridge.

Then comes Christmas...

Gosh Christmas to my family was something that we would look forward to..

even then we knew its going to be just a simple celebration but it meant so much. I remember my mum use to give us presents which at that time just like pencil case, pen, water colour and the most expensive thing that you could have is a school bag.

Oh ya , i think the most memorable Christmas gift i had was a motorcycle toy with a battery my mum bought for me. At that time material things are so far out of reach, not that we knew all this things. hehehe.

Comes Christmas eve, My mum will ask some guys from my village with cameras to come over to take our pictures and we have to dress up with our new dress in front of the Christmas tree.

I remember my sister was in the Red Cross and she have to use her new Red Cross dress for the Christmas photo. Punyalah kuno masa tu kan. He he.

After the photo session , my mum would ask the photographer to eat and drink some cheap boose and went home drank. Biasa diorang ni, tak biasa minum so ada juga yang muntah bila balik rumah. Punyalah penat masa tu bersihkan muntah orang.

We use to go to our immediate family home also during the holidays. Its either we went to Lahad Datu to my Aunt house or to my Grandmothers plance in Kunak / Mostyn. Funny because the same thing happen, we have to dress up and pause in front of the Christmas tree again. I remember my Aunty use to have this Christmas tree ( buat sendiri) using creep paper, wires and cotton.

DIY kan. Those days mana ada yang ready made.

So you see, i grew a custom of having a Christmas tree and pictures during Christmas time. This pic is taken at my house in Bintulu before i went off for my Christmas holiday 2006. I guess the concept of pausing in front of the Christmas tree is still the same but what differs is the amount of time and money setting up all the decorations and lighting. I use to tell my freinds that if Christmas comes everyday, i would be broke everymonth.

So now is May, i got 7 more month to prepare for Christmas this year.

WOULD we CHANGE our PAST

Before my birthday my sister called me up to wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY
and something that she said really struck a cord to me:

" Now that you are older and senja ( he! he! gosh ) would you ever change your history "

Would I......
would you.......
would we..............

I dont know... but for me.. If i got the power to reverse back the future, i wouldn't change it even a little bit. The journey that i've been tru made me who i am today. Well i wouldn't say that i am perfect, but why would i want to change my future without me knowing ,what will i end up to be.

On the first place my history involves a lot of mix experiences ,bitter and sweet and to redo back all those troubles and poverty again, nahhhhhhhhh i wouldn't. I remember when i was a child my classmate had this pencil box ( yaaaaaaaa .. pencil box) that got this automatic compartment which able to open by itself and gosh i envy him to much and i asked my mum if i could have one but i guess deep inside i knew i could never have one.

The battle or unsecurity when i was growing up.........

The feeling of being so unperfect.....
The feeling of being so unacceptable ........
The feeling of being so unwanted..........
The feeling of being different.....
The feeling of being Ugly.....
But the most is ...........
The feeling of being unworthy to be loved...

well..... would i want to go tru it again.
No doubt , i still carry those feeling, but i have grown and i overgrown some of them. I still have issues but it wasn't as bad as when i was a little kid. I am more listened nowadays and what i feel and think ....matters. Thats what counts to me.

Everymorning when i step out of my house. The first step i took pause a smile to my face because " Today i am making a difference not only to me but to my nation and to the world". But i know there are more to accomplish , more to achieve, and i am glad i am here in the front row making a difference.

Life is like a journey .
We would never know what lies ahead.
a stormy weather ...
a beautiful island...
a pirate ship ( matilah di bunuh lariiiiiiiiii..........)
or even a hidden treasure ( bling bling)
So dont ever sail back but keep sailing

A PLEASANT SURPRISE

I thought that last nite would be another boring and monotonous night but it turned out to be pleasant surprise that one would never have guessed.

My friends planned a small belated birthday get together and guess what i surprieses me but "maintain maintain" hehe.

Well we had a black forest cake, sandwiches and soya bean. Althought its not great or what so ever ( Matilah melezer kawan-kawan) lariiiiii........ but its something nice and thougtful. Thanks guys.

later i make intro's on my weekend in Miri and also my weekend bbq. So tunggulah.

LOVE...hati dan perasaan.

Hati dan Perasaan...

...sesekali bercakap serius dan dari hati ke hati tak salahkan

...Mungkin Tuhan sengaja mahu kita berjumpa dengan orang yang salah sebelum menemui insan yang betul supaya apabila kita akhirnya menemui insan yang betul, kita akan tahu bagaimana untuk bersyukur dengan nikmat pemberian dan hikmah di sebalik pemberian tersebut. Apabila salah satu pintu kebahagiaan tertutup, yang lain akan terbuka tapi lazimnya kita akan memandang pintu yang telah tertutup itu terlalu lama hinggakan kita tidak nampak pintu yang telahpun dibukakan untuk kita...

...Kawan yang paling baik ialah seseorang yang anda boleh duduk di dalam buaian dan berbuai bersama tanpa berkata apa-apa pun dan kemudian berjalan pulang dengan perasaan bahawa itulah perbualan yang paling hebat yang pernah dialami.Memang benar yang kita tidak akan tahu apa yang telah kita punyai sehinggalah kita kehilangannya dan juga benar bahawa kita tidak tahu apa yang kita rindukan sehinggalah 'ia' datang...

...Memberi seseorang seluruh cinta anda bukanlah satu kepastian yang mereka akan menyintai anda kembali! Jangan harapkan cinta sebagai balasan. Nantikan sahaja ia untuk mekar di dalam hati mereka tapi sekiranya ia tidak, pastikanlah ia terus mekar di dalam hati anda. Ia cuma mengambil masa seminit untuk jatuh hati pada seseorang, satu jam untuk menyukai seseorang, satu hari untuk menyintai seseorang tetapi ia mengambil masa sepanjang hidup untuk melupakan seseorang...

...Kebahagiaan seseorang manusia tidak semestinya dalam memiliki segala yang terbaik. Mereka hanya membuat yang terbaik dalam hampir apa saja yang datang di dalam perjalanan hidup mereka. Kebahagiaan terletak kepada mereka yang menangis, mereka yang terluka, mereka yang telah mencari dan mereka yang telah mencuba. Hanya mereka yang boleh menghargai kepentingan manusia yang telah menyentuh hidup mereka. Cinta bermula dengan senyuman, mekar dengan ciuman dan berakhir dengan tangisan...

...Masa depan yang cerah sentiasa berteraskan kehidupan yang lalu yang telah dilupakan. Kita selalu tidak boleh meneruskan kehidupan dengan sempurna sehingga kita melupakan kegagalan dan kekecewaan masa silam...

...Semasa kita dilahirkan, anda menangis dan orang di sekeliling kita tersenyum. Teruskanlah hidup kita supaya apabila kita mati nanti, kitalah yang akan tersenyum dan orang sekeliling kita pula yang akan menangis

WE ARE BLESSED

3rd May ..... how i hate this date everyear. Sometimes we just want to forget some dates in our lives which brings alot of meaning. Well as you know its my date of birth and GOD I'M OLD.

yesterday when i browse tru someone blog i find out his poem, which i would like to share with u and maybe we could look at birthdays a little bit better and open.

I am getting OLDER..

Its my birthday Again.. ?

Current mood: lonely

I am getting OLDER..

Its my birthday Again.. Huh...?

Instead of counting candles,

Or tallying the years,

Contemplate your blessings,

As your birthday nears.

Consider special peopleWho love you,

and who care,

And others who've enriched your lifeJust by being there.

Think about the memories

Passing years can never march back ,

Experiences great and small t hat have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,

So cut your cake, and say,

"Instead of counting birthdays,

I count blessings every day!"

so, hey its my birthday so be glad .

HAPPY 39TH BITHDAY TO ME ....

banyaknye candle aku tahun ni hehehe. penuh satu cake.

Broken...

I read from a bloggers this morning that a person that have much to hide about oneself defines who he is , and also defines his actions. I was always a person who always shield oneself with all this walls around me and when i smell something fishy or that its has a tendency or hurting me I form this shielf so thick that no other element could penetrate trought me.

So if you could bring yourself a few years back and meet the small little boy or girl that you were once before what would that be:-

Mine would be....

1. Boy dont be afraid and be dissapointed of what you are cause you are a special human being...

2. Boy, you will confront with all difficulties in the world but be patient because one day you will cherish all those and someday you will look back to your past and say to yourself "wow i have done well bymysef"

3. Be proud of the person that you are, and you are going to be.

4. Boy, never forget of your past and always put your feet to the ground.

lastly.. enjoy every moment of your life and make the most of it.

Its a whole new world ..

I hope that this will last me for a long time.. i've been trying to put a post for a blog , but i am so damn tired and it makes me wonder how can all those people stand of doing the same thing over and over again. Tapi sebenarnye actually i felt that i need to say something and i want to update myself with the things thats been going on with my life. ANDY if u are reading this see u made me do it finally.