Its been a long time since I wrote, a lot of thing going in with my life with the new office and the endless work I had.
Today I heard some bad news covering my other collogues. It seems that the Government impose a new ruling that all Phd and Masters should be done locally. I remember they impose the same thing a few years ago and a lot of those people that suppose to go overseas didn’t make it and have to continue their studies locally but then it was lifted a year back and all money was pumped into sending them overseas, then it was impose again. Gosh this government people they always have this changing rules making its unpredictable and unstable for some people.
There are pro and cons working in the Government sector actually, I remember the first time I join the University, my assistant Edward who was working for UPM for almost 2 and a half decade told me that soon you be worn out with all the red tapes and the politics going on in the University. I was so paranoid and told myself that “ now that could happen to other people , but definitely not me, because I am a survivor anddddddddd I want to make a difference.
Then for the last few months I struggled just to convince him and especially myself that I could beat the system and beat the normal norm of what people’s expectation working with the Government. I tried to beat the odds and everyday polishing my staff so that they would feel encourage, fired and most of all inspired in their work. Fuh was I in for a big ride,…. Soon I discover how hard it is to make changes, how what you said and worked hard for doesn’t really count , what count wassssss… how well you could interact with your superior and how good are you in your PR with your bosses. The more you say yes , the more you’ll be safe. But I guess I learn it the hard way , I was a vocal and full of opinions hoping that I would make a difference and be a catalyst. I guess my traits of formerly working for a big and recognize company made who I was before, a dynamic and innovative human being and that was the spirit that I want to instill and fought in order for us to grow. Well for the first year, I thought am making progress of changing their perception but most of all I was proud that I made my staff love their job. I remember one of my staff Abang Nazeri told me one day , he said Mr Allan now I have reasons to wake up in the morning to work a feeling that was lost before and now I found it back. Gosh that felt good hearing,
Then, comes the rain… I called it the big black cloud over my head. Hehehe. Then suddenly the work that you put up for years suddenly go flush down the drain. Everyday it chips me bit by bit making you lost you identity. Sometimes I felt going to work like a Zombie “ working without reasons and a destination”. The flame that burns so immensely before suddenly turn into ash.
But now I realize what Edward meant perfectly. No matter how hard you work, you’ll end up burning up yourself. I also realize that saying yes saves… although sometimes you have to say no but most of the time its safe to say yes. I also learnt that a lot of people cannot accept changes.. but if you are to do changes then.. you have to do it slowly. A big a dramatic changes can only cause you pain and a lot of disappointment.
My hopes…
My hopes that someday , everybody will change for the better. I hope that everybody can accept changes and that everybody could be an inspiration to others.
I hope that instead of criticizing and pointing peoples fault , why not find his best values and work to improve and inspire.
I hope that people wouldn’t be a chauvinist pig on what other people’s weakness.
I hope that one day the person that reaches his hands up the ladder to success would lend his hand down to pull up another person.
Today I heard some bad news covering my other collogues. It seems that the Government impose a new ruling that all Phd and Masters should be done locally. I remember they impose the same thing a few years ago and a lot of those people that suppose to go overseas didn’t make it and have to continue their studies locally but then it was lifted a year back and all money was pumped into sending them overseas, then it was impose again. Gosh this government people they always have this changing rules making its unpredictable and unstable for some people.
There are pro and cons working in the Government sector actually, I remember the first time I join the University, my assistant Edward who was working for UPM for almost 2 and a half decade told me that soon you be worn out with all the red tapes and the politics going on in the University. I was so paranoid and told myself that “ now that could happen to other people , but definitely not me, because I am a survivor anddddddddd I want to make a difference.
Then for the last few months I struggled just to convince him and especially myself that I could beat the system and beat the normal norm of what people’s expectation working with the Government. I tried to beat the odds and everyday polishing my staff so that they would feel encourage, fired and most of all inspired in their work. Fuh was I in for a big ride,…. Soon I discover how hard it is to make changes, how what you said and worked hard for doesn’t really count , what count wassssss… how well you could interact with your superior and how good are you in your PR with your bosses. The more you say yes , the more you’ll be safe. But I guess I learn it the hard way , I was a vocal and full of opinions hoping that I would make a difference and be a catalyst. I guess my traits of formerly working for a big and recognize company made who I was before, a dynamic and innovative human being and that was the spirit that I want to instill and fought in order for us to grow. Well for the first year, I thought am making progress of changing their perception but most of all I was proud that I made my staff love their job. I remember one of my staff Abang Nazeri told me one day , he said Mr Allan now I have reasons to wake up in the morning to work a feeling that was lost before and now I found it back. Gosh that felt good hearing,
Then, comes the rain… I called it the big black cloud over my head. Hehehe. Then suddenly the work that you put up for years suddenly go flush down the drain. Everyday it chips me bit by bit making you lost you identity. Sometimes I felt going to work like a Zombie “ working without reasons and a destination”. The flame that burns so immensely before suddenly turn into ash.
But now I realize what Edward meant perfectly. No matter how hard you work, you’ll end up burning up yourself. I also realize that saying yes saves… although sometimes you have to say no but most of the time its safe to say yes. I also learnt that a lot of people cannot accept changes.. but if you are to do changes then.. you have to do it slowly. A big a dramatic changes can only cause you pain and a lot of disappointment.
My hopes…
My hopes that someday , everybody will change for the better. I hope that everybody can accept changes and that everybody could be an inspiration to others.
I hope that instead of criticizing and pointing peoples fault , why not find his best values and work to improve and inspire.
I hope that people wouldn’t be a chauvinist pig on what other people’s weakness.
I hope that one day the person that reaches his hands up the ladder to success would lend his hand down to pull up another person.
