SAMI VELO JOKE

1) Samy Velu on pos laju "BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI"
2) The one on TV when in trying to say he was ashamed, he said:`Kemaluan saya besar`
3) On drugs, "Jangan hisap dada"
4) Samy said in a ceramah "Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini", one pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina jambatan?" and Samy glorious replied,"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"
5) Samy's favorite quote on national television "Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"
6) During the water shortage crisis : "semua orang diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!"
7) During blood donation campaign in Sg Siput: "..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."
8) During the opening speech of various function: "...selamat datang saudara-mara semua.." (actually is "saudara-saudari")
9) At an opening ceremony: "mempersilakan datin paduka rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain"
10)Commenting about his modesty: "sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"

And

lastly u know why our N-S Highway concessionaire is named PLUS.PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy

PICS IN MUKAH

As i said earlier we are in Mukah( 3 + hours from bintulu pulak) last weekend for our campus new Halatuju ( look at the dictionary for the translation because i malas nak translate). Anyway we arrive at around 11.30. Everybody is bz with the registration especially with one of the secretary acting like a biatchhhhhhhhhh heheh kan jep ( siap kena marah dengan aku lagi)

Still my friends happy-happying while people are working. hehehe.

Ini masa orang serius-serius membentang for the Halatuju, tapi for me its still a holiday.

ADUS HENSEMNYE AKU HEHEH BOLEH PERASAN NI.

This is me and a bunch of my collogue, Masa ini tengah presentation tapi heheh tetap main main kerja ni. Holiday kan.

Baywatchlah kunun ni. kan. hehehe. mana ada baywatch pakai snow cap.

This is the enhance pic i did for my computer wallpaper. cantik kan. Anyone nak belajar macam mana nak buat ke.

This is me and Daisy ( our Librarian) in front of Kingwood Mukah hotel and Resort

This time is bersantai di tepi swimming fool heheh. kononlah

Ini gambar kent travel and living hehehe . Carlina yang amik gambar ini lepas berkursus dengan saya. Pandai Carlina ni hehe, We are set for UK now.

A 4 STAR HOTEL

Guess where i am now, im at Mukah Kingwood hotel and Resort. Punyalah jauh this place , actually the place is not that far from Bintulu but the road is terrible. All the way you can see Oil Palm Estates , macam Tawau lah pulak kan. On the way yesterday i saw an Oil Palm Supervisor pakai seluar pendek .... Teringat aku masa aku kerja di Taiko and Bal Plantation.

Kingwood Hotel and Resort......... a good place situated around half and hour from Mukah Town and around 3 and a half hour from Bintulu. Actually it would only took around a less than a few hours but the road is terrible but hopefully when the new road is ready it doesn't really took that long.

Anyway the hotel food is terrible and yang hebatnye last night Dr Joseph found a cockroach inside the water container means all the people here drank cockroach water hehehe nasib baik semalam aku tak sempat nak minum kan tapi semalam rosli made a squirk after i told him that he drank the air lipasssssss....... makin sihatlah si Rosli nanti.

Lepas tu the food is terrible........ dahlah breafast pagi tadi tak cukup. Kueh teow goreng pun kering. Lagi sedap aku masakkan. Gosh when is the nightmare going to end.

Oklah i nak stop dulu, actually i type a long list just now that the internet here is cam sial heheh so terdelete.

Foreign Enquiries

I got an email from this Guinean chap last Thursday enquiring about our local Agriculture University in Malaysia. His name is Karaounka Cond ( i not so clear wheather he is one of the students too ). So he email me first last Thursday on his enquiries and i email him back just to make sure that he is genuine and he email me back again yesterday morning.

So, after thinking about it , instead of me giving my non accurate information i should divert him to my Vice Academic Dean for further elaborated information. But i did email him just in case my Vice Dean didn't take any action. I hope that everything pulls out and he choose our University. Seronok jugak tengok Foreign Students kan. taklah Budak Mesia je balik-balik. And this also would be good for to promote the University more.

Amin.

below are his 2 email to me.

Dear Allan,

I am writing this message to you to enquire about how a young student from Guinea can study Agriculture in Malaysia. If possible, how can we access > > your registration form and/or any other information necessary to join the > > college. While wainting your answer, I thank you for your kind > > cooperation. Regards

Good morning Alan,

It is me again. First of all, I appreciated your quick response. This gave me more courage to move with UPM. I forgot one important thing the other day, this was the fact that the young student I was talking about was coming from a francophone country, which is Guinea in West Africa. He gave me some of the subjects he is studying in his school, unfortunately all these are in French. My worries are now in the language side. Before I continue with UPM, I wanted to ask if UPM accept french speaking students? I am waiting for your answer to orient myself. Once again I appreciate your quick answer and thank you for all the information you gave me.

BER BER ALREADY christmas time is coming

My cousin from the Phillipines ones told me that Christmas should begin when the month got its Ber Ber like September October , November and December. Traditionally the Filipinos would start thier celebration starting from the middle of September and peaks on the 25th December.

So Andy kita kena fikir konsep apa tahun ni for our Christmas Tree. I think this year im going blue ... I was thinking of buying a new tree this year sebab yang asal tu kalau berdiri senget. Very the alasan. My sister in Subang mesti pakai her last year Christmas tree kan. Ops mesti dia baca my blog jugak ni. Ampunnnnnnnn tuanku.

RAMADAN DATANG LAGI

First and foremost i would like to wish all my muslim friends a holy Ramadan. Puasa biar cukup jangan ponteng tapi baju raya biar vogue hehehe kan Jepp. Hari tu bukan main lagi mau beli baju ala ala glitters. Jangan lupa kalau nak glitters beli batu sorosky dengan illa. Banyak lagi stok tahun lepas tak jual lagi, murah je sekampit pelastik RM 3.00.



tapi dalam menyambut bulan puasa ini dan raya yang menjelang tiba, jangan kita lupa yang kurang bernasib baik. Bantulah mereka.. kesian jugak kan. skrol bawah ... kesian jugak.

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skrol bawah lagi.

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sikit lagi

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Spare a dime for those having none at all

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a little bit more please

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dikit more

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how can you say no to this face

AGRO TANI

I guess basically by now you should know who am i.... ( ha tak tau ke??). I am an Agriculture Officer in one of the Agri Based University in Sarawak. One of my functions as an AO are

1. To manage the campus land for agriculture activities.
2. To manage a group of staf for agriculture activities.
3. To give and teach hands on Agro activities to students.
4. To help with the students practical training.
5. To go shoping with Carlina when we got a free time hehehe aka kedai RM 2.00.
6. To chat with Andy on the net some of the time hehehe.
7. To go for meetings, even thought i dont feel like going.
8. To do miscellanous work.
9. Banyak lagi kerja aku, aku terlupa lah pulak.
10. Marah-marah staf dikit-dikit.

So this is our new Share farm in Bintulu ( newly constructed ) cost almost 200 k for the land preparation, consist of 6 plot share agri farm, one compost house, one plant processing house, one avian processing house , 2 chicken house ( high slatted and close system) and upcoming hatchery ( tapi tak siap lagi). The one with the blue roofing is our compost house and next to it is our integrated farm.

We have 3 new green house ( Hydrophonic system, Fertigation system and Netted system) and this is one of them. This is a fertigation system where the plants are planted in a soiless media ( coco peat ~ means coconut hust yang di hancurkan). Yang kat atas ni is rock mellon.

This is our integratted farm. Long beans ( untuk siapa-siapa yang tak pernah tengok long beanslah). Actually the main problem we have was that the our soil in Bintulu is podzolic soil ( The soil have a high % of clay and sand so the soil tend to get very soggy during the wet seasons and like stone during the drought season , and the worst thing was our land is prepared and pushed by the bulldozer and now we hardly got any more top soil but we use alot of compost and chicken dung to enhance the soil. So kena buang banyak tahi ayamlah banyak-banyak. So far so goodlah. tengok tu subur je ka. Baru pagi tadi one of the Doctores praise me saying that the farm is getting greener..

This is our Hydroponic product. We just finish one cycle this morning. Seronok jugak tengok almost 5 bakul full pagi tadi.

This happens this morning, when my staf are packing. i kilo RM 3.00 murah kan. I pun bantu tau.

Cheap Black Market Hand Phone

This morning when i went for breakfast at my usual ASO ASO shop @ aka my Chinese kakak angkat i notice a group of middle age chinaman talking.

After a while i notice that they were looking at me... and suddenly one of them open up handphone and this big noise sorrounds the shop. Being curious i said " Besarnye bunyi Hp u"... actually mengata ... macamlah dia je ada hp kan.

Then one of them told me that his hp got a TV, can prey TV... wah very hebat lah tauke. Iye ke. Yes vely cip... cina made one...

WAHHHHHHHHH ya meh... got tv ahhhhhh. Then he came to my table and show me his gadget and it was actually a hp with a TV on it and according to him it cost around RM 800.00. Pixel is okay ... terang and sound system pun okay jugak. Then he showed me another one much wider screen with the same system as the first one but the pixel was not so good because tak terang sangat kan.

They said that it was brought in black market from China and it cost half the price from the shop. Menarik jugak kan tapi then i ask him ... guarantee ada ka tauke, dia cakap 5 hari saja.

APOOOOOOOOOOO... nadai jako nya. Tak molah. nanti beli esok lusa rosak. kan menyusahkan mak bapa. I am contented with my Motorola L6 handphone. Cheap, reliable and stylish. Walaupun pada hakikatnya dah lusuh kan. hehehe. tak pe yang penting boleh pakai.

Kalau hilang pun tak sakit hati, especially i ni yang selalu kehilangan hp kan. So its better to have a cheap one kalau hilang pun tak sakit hati. At least mine ni got MP3 jugak , taklah kuno sangat pakai monotone ( ops inday sorry) or Polifonik ( ops mat ict sorry... siap lagu kenangan terindah lagi .. hehehehe ala ala lagu dolok dolok).

Kadang tu aku tengok hp bukan main canggih tapi bila suruh call, tak ada credit, perlu ke???

Tak pelah with my hp ni pun walaupun tak cantik .. tak nokia N series tapi at least credit selalu ada (walaupun asyik sms je) hehehe, yang penting boleh terima call, sms and can call lite lite. Kalau call kerap pun buat untung celcom je. Hampeh.

So i terima hakikat bahawa se nye, hp ku ini tak payah di tukar dulu. let it serves me for a few more years and then decide if i were to change it, kalau cepat sangat tukar , tak larat si Sudirman ikut pulak, sebab Sudirman suka ikut my hp.... kan MAN...

LUCUNYA GAMBAR NI....

I was reading a blog yesterday and found this pic.... kesian jak budak ini , innocent tapi see the T shirt jahat betul mak ayah dia hehehe.

ANOTHER HALATUJU AGAIN???

Next weekend from Friday until Sunday all of the Pegawai Utama in the Campus will be in Mukah ( a small town 2 hours from Bintulu) will get together brainstorming on the Halatuju for the campus. It seems that since the last BOD visit we were ask to rethink back and recustomize back our focus for the Campus.

It seems that the Board Of Director was not happy with our campus because we doesn’t show any significance in terms of product. It seems that they want us to be more focus in an area then just to duplicate what the main campus are doing. We are ask to be more open and to extend our expertise in many ways or more that differs us from the main campus.

For me the weekend would be nice, staying in a big and new hotel far from Bintulu. As for the brainstorming is concerned , I think I’m going to keep quiet and make the most of the paidweekend. heheeh. kan.

But if you ask me what I think, I think we in Malaysia are too consume with production. I know production is the main that breath the industry but have we ever thought that our Agriculture Industry does not really prosper because of the lack of Post Production activities. Our main concern is not because we cannot produce but one of our main concern is how much can we sell. A company of a farmer could produce 4000 chicken a day but can he sell that much for the local market.
We have to think more towards post production, to enhance our product. If we go to a local and international market ( Carrefour, Giant and Tesco) almost 80% of the product on shelf are imported product mostly from Thailand, Indonesia, America and the UK and the remaining would be our local product. That would be the belancan, asam jawa , fish, marine products, chicken, local crackers, local biscuits and poor quality local detergent. Our sauce, peas, ham, tin food, soaps and many more quality product comes from overseas even to our tea comes from china and france. Doesn’t that tell us something, its not that we don’t want to produce this quality product but its just that we doesn’t have the expertise to produce them.

We should have a course that more customize in post production in all Agriculture Product so that it become a catalyst to the industry, rather than just focusing too much on production. For me only when there are post production then the main production will improvise its quality because by then the post production will demand better quality. But its really up to the management to think about it, who am I , I am only an Agriculture Office yang tak lepas nak sambung belajar.

SOCIAL PROBLEM RED ALLERT

Its nearly 12.00 noon on the Sunday and I was here in front of my Laptop typing and listening to Michael Bubbley.Gosh my life is pathetic hehehe. I tried not to switch on my TV because when I do, then my concentration will be distracted and by the time I realize I am in front of my TV and realizing that I am a couch potato. I am those people who spend 60% of my life in front of my TV.

Last night I went out with a friend, an invitation that opened my eyes so immensely. I went out at around 8.00 pm yesterday after I got this SMS from a friend, asking me to come to his friends house for so a week end get together. I was at first reluctant to go, thinking that it would be awkward in the presence of unfamiliar faces, but I went anyway not because I do not have anything to do during the weekend ( memang pun) but because I took the time to invite me.

I arrived to their house at around 8.30 pm and I could hear from afar those cranky noises ( Those native karaoke songs) heheh no offence. When we reach there we were invited to sit with all people staring at me because I was the only non local around. It not that I haven’t in that situation because I did but the weird thing was that everyone was talking and laughing leaving me in awe because i couldn't understand a word.

Soon orang rumah serves the tapai and some local drinks to us, asking us to sip from on glasses. Gosh not that I have against drinking tuak but the thought of the same glasses shared around ahhhh.... Well I did drank a little sip just to pay my respect to the homeowner. The comes the second drink and I to lie and told them that I am allergic and runs rashes comes alcohol ( gosh that’s the same old alibi).. really guys i can't drink honest and I could hear some of the guys said “ Tak pandai minum… tak patut… sudah lama di Sarawak ” in a local slang, I know, not able to drink seems a lame excuse but honestly i guess i just do not have the taste bud for alcohol.

The thing that struck a cord to me sitting there was that everybody drank including some little young boys, I think they couldn’t be more than 12 , sipping and drinking Tuak as well as if it was just plain water. The funny thing was that it was an old person who serves him the drinks smilling and laughing everytime one of them makes this squirt after a sip. I was asking myself how could an old person does that, teaching and allowing the new generation making it okay to drink.

According to my friend they started drinking as young as 9 years old, and its was their parents who thought them to drink along with their relatives during special occasian and that perceive after that. Drinking was just like a normal get together or even a past time activities to them. Then my mind flew to when I was a child how my mother strongly told us that drinking is only for the adult ( 21 was our at par for adult ship in my mom’s dictionary). I remember my mum would only buy some liquor during Christmas for friends that came over but funny even when she was serving liquor to her friends and collogues we were not allow to even sip even a little bit. My mum was so strict to us on alcohol and cigarettes ( although she smokes and drinks a little bit) but for her children its taboo to even do it. There was this one time when my older cousin teaches us to smoke telling us that its one way to ease your hunger, and being 9 my brother was so incited took a puff , but when they ask me to smoke I refused because I know that it was wrong ( oh gosh I’m so a nerd). When we reach home my brother ask me to keep quiet about it, but being a small devil that I am hehehe. i told him that I wouldn’t tell if he would follow what I ask him to do( jahatnye kan). So then for the whole month my brother was my slave he he he. Being the small one in the family I am always the first person who would do all the house chores and my brother would get away with it every time but soon he was my house chores and that a pause a question to my mum and other siblings. Then after an interrogation from my mother, my brothers secrets were out, for the punishment my mum ask my brother to smoke a whole pact of cigarette continuously and i was so guilty looking at my brother begging and crying to my mum not to ever do it again.

Come back to the main topic… hehe jauh pulak aku berkhayal. Basically I think we are screwed up.. Malaysian are screwed up if we allow this to happen. As an adult it is our responsibilities to set boundaries to our children and not teaching them that its okay to drink. It is our social duties to tell this kids that its not okay to drink and let the drinking comes after you are an adult and only during festive or special occasion. Drinking is okay but only when it is just for social gestures and not to get drunk. Drinking, drunk driving could end up killing people and in some occasion drinking could end up a girl being pregnant. I don’t know but we have to do something about this, because I can see that drinking is a normal fare to all the local people in Sabah and Sarawak. This have to end and we have to take responsibilities to teach our younger generation, so that the new generation wouldn’t stray in alcoholism.

Cakap tak serupa bikin

Today i got an email from one of our superior in the Campus. It goes like this:

Assalamualaikum saudari dan saudara beragama Islam di UPM Kampus BintuluSempena menjelang bulan Ramadhan marilah kita merenungi Tazkirah ini:

Doa malaikat Jibril menjelang Ramadhan "Ya Allah tolong abaikan puasa ummat Muhammad, apabila sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan dia TIDAK melakukan hal-hal yang berikut:* Tidak memohon maaf terlebih dahulu kepada kedua orang tuanya (jika masih ada);* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu antara suami isteri;* Tidak bermaafan terlebih dahulu dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.Maka Rasulullah pun mengatakan Amin sebanyak 3 kali. Dapatkah kita bayangkan, yang berdoa adalah Malaikat dan yang mengamiinkan adalah Rasullullah dan para sahabat, dan dilakukan pada hari Jumaat.Oleh itu, jika saya ada berbuat kesalahan, baik yang tidak di sengaja maupun yang di sengaja, banyak banyak MEMOHON MAAF, Semoga kita menjalani ibadah puasa dengan khusyuk penuh keyakinan, diberkati dan dirahmati Allah S.W.T, insyaallah.Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan.

Then i pause a smile on my face. These comes from a person who really got this biggest ego in the campus or like they said a bigger than life kinda guy as if he is immortal but then again maybe he wanted to do good deeds during fasting month. BUT Why must we say sorry only during the ramadan month, no offence to my muslims friend but i think regardless if whether its fasting month or to us the Christians its the holy week the morallity of saying " I am sorry is a must kan". Tapi bagus jugak lah dia dah insaf kot, tapi jangan during the month of fasting je.

For my Muslims friends selamat menyambut bulan puasa dan puasa biar penuh okay. hehhe. matilah illa selalu period kalau poser ni. lariiiiiiii mencarut lagi kan.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

A student ask a teacher, “what is love?”

The teacher said,

“in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go throught them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big padi,but he wonders….may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one… but may be there is a even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realise that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regreted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The teacher told him,

“…this is love… you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person….”

“What is marriage then?” the student asked.

The teacher said,

“in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go throught them only once and cannot turn back topick.”
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher. The teacher told him,

“this time you bring back a corn…. you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best on you get…. this is marriage.”

SO DOES THAT REGISTER TRU UR HEAD ....

A song and a couple of memories

Sometimes a song can inspires us so much than ones you’ve heard it, a long list of memories flashes through our mind bring us to those moments regardless if its bitter or sweet.

These are a few things songs that reminisces a few moments in my life.

Whitney Houston – The bodyguard album.
Brings me back to my college life in Bintulu. This song comes during the wee time of our Prelim life.

Hero – By Mariah Carey.
This song was one of our team song for our English play ( The fantasy Island). I bet Andy is smiling right now, we use to adore Akak Mariah Kari ini siap miming lagi lagu dia. Andy I know you are very good with those Mariah Carey hands yang tunjuk-tunjuk tu. Apooooooooo.

Hijau – By Zainal Abidin.
I love this song in the early 90’s. My best friend Shukri is a Terengganuan and he told me that the traditional dialect inserted in the song was Kelantanese dialect, which I found very appealing. This song was when I was working in BAL Plantation.

Sheila Majid’s 1st, 2nd , 3rd and 4th album.
FYI I was a Sheila Majid addict on the 80’s and the first song I like was Sinaran which was so popular in the middle 80’s on my 1st visit to Kuala Lumpur during my sisters Convocation in UKM. So nowadays every time I heard the song it reminds me of the old KL. Just imagine memorizing all the songs on all the four album. Oh god was I pathetic or what.

Belaian Jiwa. – Innoendo.
Goshhhhhh this song brings sweet memories to me especially when sang this song on our final year dinner party. Me , Andy ( who plays piano), Illa, Zairul and Zah ( eh dia ada ka) lupa pulak. But it was fun and guess who was the lead singer. Akuuuuuuuuuuu jugak.

Biarlah bulan bicara – Breorey.
Guess what I love, love , love breorey and I got to sing his song on our Karaoke Night in UPMKB 2004 anddddddd I manage to get tru the finals tapi tak menanglah.

Sanay kahit minsan – By Ariel rivera.
I first heard of Ariel rivera during the early 90’s during my first visit to Manila and he was like the in thing that time. Then a few years back me , Andy and the rest of my friends in the campus started loving Filipinos song and this song pops up ones more and singing this song in Bailami. Siap kena puji lagi suara sedap.


Wow the list goes on but didn’t end there ( hehe macam Bobby Trendy pulak ) but sure enough songs plays a big role in my life and regardless if I’m having a bad day or a nice holiday a song always brings smile on my face. Another great song would be this song from Anuar Zain " Lelaki ini " i fell in love the first time i heard it.

MERDEKA MALAYSIA KE 50

Semalam kita menyambut hari kemerdekaan yang ke 50, jadi hari ini , saya bercadang untuk membuat entry saya di dalam Bahasa Malaysia ... well saje je lah untuk menghormati hari bersejarah di setiap hati dan sanubari warga Malaysia.

Kita sebagai rakyat Malaysia sepatutnya bersyukur kerana dari dulu sampailah sekarang kita masih hidup di dalam satu Malaysia yang aman dan damai, bersyukur sebab bumi kita ini belum bergerak balik kearah kita, kita masih mampu berkerja dengan selesa dan rezeki itu di mana-mana dan kita masih mampu tersenyum pada hari ini , esok dan hari-hari yang akan mendatang.

Semalam kampus kami juga menyambut hari yang bersejarah ini dengan suatu sambutan yang sederhana dan baget hehehe berbanding dengan kampus induk yang boleh dikatakan mewah dengan baju perlbagai warna dan pentas yang berkilau dan latarbelakang yang mahal. Tapi berbeza bagi kami di Kampus cawangan dengan pentas yang ala kadar dengan latarbelakang DIY atau dibuat sendiri dengan steirofoam dengan ala ala lukisan dan hiasan ala ala retro. Punyalah perbezaan itu ketara. Itulah persoalannya dan hakikat sebenarnya, kenapa pelajar berebut-rebut ke kampus induk dan cuba menolak sedaya upaya kampus cawangan.
Tapi sambutan tetap sambutan dan meriah tetap meriah tetapi terlintas juga di fikiran kami adalah sambutan akan bebeza kalau baget itu lebih besar ... entahlah mungkin iya mungkin tidak.

Sambutan tetap sambutan tetapi harus diingat bahawa merdeka jangan hanya timbul pada sambutan tetapi juga pada jiwa dan sanubari. Minda kita harus merdeka dan bergerak ke hadapan supaya Negara kita menjadi lebih maju dan di limpahi dengan segala kebaikan, barulah kita dapat menikmati hidup yang lebih progresif dan dinamik.